Accountancy jokes to lighten your day

What’s the definition of a good tax accountant?

Someone who has a loophole named after him.

What does VAT Stand for?

Very Annoying Tax.

Why did the Accountant fall off his bed?

He didn’t have a balance sheet.

Did you hear the one about the constipated accountant?

He couldn’t budget.

What happens when you cross a transatlantic aircraft with an accountant?

A Boring 747.

What do accountants do for fun?

Add up the telephone book.

Why did the accountant stare at his glass of orange juice for three hours?

Because of the box it said Concentrate.

What’s an actuary?

An accountant without the sense of humour.

What do actuaries do to liven up their office party?

Invite an accountant.

Why do some accountants decide to become actuaries?

They find bookkeeping too exciting.

Why do accountants laugh out loud?

When somebody asks for a raise.

Why do accountants get excited on Saturdays?

They can wear casual clothes to work.

Why did God invent economists?

So accountants could have someone to laugh at.

There’s nothing remotely funny on this page.

Are you an accountant?